What I always forget at the water park! Ps. Don't be an embarassment like me!

You make a mental list. 

You lay everything out the night before.

Everybody's swim suits. With multiple options bc I mean why would they wear the one you want them to. 

Sunscreen. 

Snacks.

Towels.

Extra clothes.

Bottles of water.

And since my mama is old-school she says you gotta have CASH because..

"just because they take a card doesn't mean something can't happen"

.....

Lol love you, Mom.

Anyways. 

You make sure you can find the email with your tickets because for some reason it's like that email disappears when you need it.

Early bed time for everyone and you plan to leave at the crack of dawn the get the most out of your day.

But to be honest you just want to get there when they're open to stake out the best spot to spread your stuff and claim as your territory for the day.

Our go-to water park is Summer Waves at Jekyll Island! We love it and have been going there since I was a little kid. 

With CDC guidelines in place right now they are only allowing a certain capacity which makes the experience even better because it's much less crowded than normal. 

If you've never been you should! There is a wonderful kiddie area, wave pool, lazy river, slides for the somewhat of a scaredy-cats and the biggest/baddest slide is the "Pirate's Passage".

And that my friends is where the real story begins. I've been riding that thing since I was 48" tall with no fear.

When you're climbing the towering steps you will feel the wind in your face, the nerves in your belly and most of all the burn in your thighs bc omg why so many steps. I mean I know why, but it sounds like I'm fighting for my life when the line is short. A longer line means a few steps..you stop..a few steps you stop and then I don't sound like I changed my name to Little Debbie during quarantine...

But. Anyways. It's typically a two person ride, but you can ride alone. My sister Savannah and I were taking our two oldest down and boy were they excited. My little boy has been before but her daughter hadn't. Standing in line they nervously giggled about the people screaming on their way down the slide and asked a couple "what if" questions. Like "what if this entire set of steps collapsed....?" To the sweet, but scared girls behind us this was NOT a lighthearted question 不不不

Savannah and Berkley were going first. The climb into the two person raft is not easy as you have jets pumping water at least 100 mph at your ankles while you try to be graceful in the plop onto the tube. 

Off they went with giggles and screams and we saw them safely glide to a landing and dismount.

We were not as fortunate. 

As we mount the ride I should add that the heavier rider must sit in the front. So my 47 pound kid obviously hopped in the back. Maybe one day he will pass me, but that will take A LOT more Popeye's biscuits and genetics from my side to kick-in.

Some skinny girls make it look really easy getting in the floats. I look like I'm wrestling an invisible angry wild hog covered in coconut oil. It ain't pretty and there is weird noises, grunts and apologies. 

"Ma'am please remove your hat, glasses, and shoes"....

After the wrangling session was over and I was safely seated the life guard come at me with this. Every other ride didn't care about my hat, glasses, and shoes...I think he was trying to kick me while I was down. So before you judge the feet part you must know I always wear shoes outside and don't have alligator tough feet like some of yall. My bad 不不 and after walking barefoot around on the hot concrete all day I couldn't take no mo'. 

So now that I have shoes, a hat and sunglasses secure in one hand and a feeble grip on the handle bar he pushes us off in the dark tunnel. 

My stomach just dropped thinking about it.

Drop number one and you come to an opening in the tunnel...you scream and holler to make sure your kid knows you are fun, a real thrill seeker and the cool mom. Second drop...it hits you...not the water...not yet...the flashback of what's to come. 

Here's the thing I always forget at the water park....

Coasting at 238 mph off the end of the slide you slam into water pushing back at you to help you come to a halt. That's usually okay if you have 2 hands firmly gripping, but not me...not this time....

I flew head first into the water...one shoe flying one way and the other another way..my feet flew over my head and my hat was long gone...my sunglasses stayed in my grip bc it's not every day you luck up on a good quality pair of gas station sunglasses for only $12. 

This last part hurts my pride, but it happens to the best of us. With the force of what felt like all of hell and easily 89,000 gallons of water pressure concentrated in one small area...my bathing suit bottoms retreated north before I could even realize I was no longer even in the tube.

From under the water I hear muffled laughter and the East Australian Current. With one hand free and my god given glutes as well, I did my best to make it right while onlookers snickered.

The onlookers that got the best kick out of it just happened to be my sister and niece. 

Though some choose a cheeky look I can honestly say the cheeky look chose me in that moment. 

As I regained my footing and left shoe..and right shoe...and hat...I did not dare make eye contact with the chivalrous lifeguard who didn't even judge me for leaving my float and exiting the ride. 

If you're looking for a good time I highly suggest Summer Waves at Jekyll Island.

If you're looking for some laughs just go park yourself by the Pirate's Passage bc I surely can't be the only one!

My sweet daughter who innocently played at the kiddie area while her brother and I made a full scene at Pirate's Passage. She will find out one day.


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