I don't look perfect in a bathing suit and that is okay. - Life. Love. Jesus. Everything in between.
Coming off of the holiday weekend I felt the need to share something that I am so sure is on so many of our minds.
Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.
No matter where you live there is a lot of body image pressure on us.
Living anywhere hot with lots of water access and beaches has even more pressure.
Living in Florida means all summer and every holiday is spent on the water in some capacity. Even Christmas when it's warm enough...which is most years..
Being a female is tough enough, but being a female in bikini country is harder.
I am not a small person. Never have been and never will be. My BMI says I'm morbidly obese. Lol that stupid BMI scale really ticks me off.
Even though I am a confident person by nature, I've never felt 100% confident about my body...and most certainly never felt confident in a bathing suit.
I hold my weight in my midsection and it's a genetic curse. I look like a marshmallow body with toothpicks for legs. Just picture that. But in the summer I do get a little bit tan so toast that marshmallow for about 15-20 seconds.
I, just like so many of you, beat myself up when I'm around a crowd of people in a bathing suit.
At the beach around strangers I do not care. I will eat snacks criss cross applesauce looking like a chunky toddler. There's freedom in knowing I do not know those people and won't see them again.
But around people in closer quarters or people I know...
No matter what kind of bathing suit I choose I still feel like I am being judged and/or scrutinized for it.
Nothing feels appropriate for my weight, age, stage of motherhood, or happy marital status.
You're either a grandma or a hooch.
Too much skin or looking like a whale trainer in a wet suit.
You risk matching someone's grandma's tankini or your 12 year old nieces bikini.
It's like there is no in between.
While we were on the water for the 4th I was constantly looking around thinking...
She's way smaller than me...
I probably look like that....
I hope I don't look like that...
I wish I looked like that...
I wonder if I'll ever look like that....
And that's ridiculous. What does it matter???
Why do we do that to ourselves?
I was in my float thinking....
My stomach couldn't look any bigger than it does right now....
If I could lay flatter it may spread the rolls out...
If I sit straight up and pull my knees up that could help too...
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I cannot be alone in thinking this.
The things that helps me get over it is knowing that
1) I am perfectly healthy and for that I am grateful.
2) My husband and kids love me for me and not for what I look like in a bathing suit.
3) I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way.
4) People who do look great in a bathing suit still have these same thoughts.
5) I don't have to be perfect.
Ladies, I am begging you to just stop.
Stop beating yourselves up.
Stop obsessing over pictures you hate of yourself.
Stop wishing you looked any other kind of way.
It's ok to want to be healthier.
It's okay to want to be your best.
It's not okay to make yourself miserable in the process.
If you caught yourself feeling the way I felt this weekend you aren't alone.
But just remember you are YOU and that's okay.
There will always be someone smaller, someone bigger, someone shorter, someone taller.
But most importantly there will never be another YOU!
So be her, happily.